1) You do not talk about fractional reserve banking.
2) You do not talk about fractional reserve banking.
3) Gold is a traditional, barbaric relic that you can’t eat, while fiatski BernankBux are a refined modernity that are nutritious and satisfying.
4) You will memorize the secret text Zen & The Art of Printing Press Maintenance.
5) If inflation is surging, tell the media that it’s not, but if it ever does, you’ll mop it up in 15 minutes, guaranteed.
6) Hedonic adjustments & the birth-death model: Know them and learn to love them.
7) If consumption falls due to a shitty economy (that your policies inevitably help create), try to inflate prices through insane policies that distort markets further, so that you can claim that GDP is still growing (or not falling as fast, at least).
8) Never allow anyone to claim that economics is actually fairly simple, and viciously rebut such talk by claiming that economics is one of mankind’s most difficult endeavors, and only a select few are intelligent enough to understand the dangers of sovereign nations printing their own money, interest free, and then add some very confusing and inconclusive studies that purport to show that what you just said is theoretically possible.
9) Always be mindful of who you truly work for in the very odd case that the notion of trying to help the economy ever does begin to seep into your conscience.
10) Talk about transparency often while building even more opaqueness into the already very mysterious fractional reserve banking racketeering syndicate. Every central banker has an inherent duty to leave office with the public and imbecilic politicians even more confused about your role than they were when your predecessor left his post.